Frequency of authenticity

Have you ever met someone a few times and just never taken to them? There doesn’t seem to be an obvious reason, just something you can’t quite put your finger on. They seem great! Perhaps they’re confident, intelligent, friendly and seemingly open and you recognise they very much appear similar to yourself, but something doesn’t quite add up.

You check in with your self-awareness. There isn’t anything that you’re aware of which poses an immediate threat. You don’t feel your vulnerabilities or your competitive streak surfacing, in fact, quite the opposite, you find yourself engaging with a disconnection. The engagement feels more like curiosity and intrigue as you lean in to the uncomfortable and try to discover what’s here for you.

And with time, complacency, alcohol or anything else that allows the veil to slip, the truth starts to appear.

What was presented to you at surface is not who they are.

Or perhaps it was you. You really wanted that career opportunity so fabricated a few "new" skills, forgetting the impending anxiety when you might be asked to offer your ‘expertise’ in a field that you haven’t yet had the opportunity to study or master. You were so eager to connect in that networking opportunity, that you unconsciously mirrored the other and couldn’t understand why the person seemed to retreat more than advance. Maybe you wanted to close that deal so badly, which would mean hitting this month’s bonus in the higher threshold, that you hadn’t anticipated the lack of transparency to your client. The mis-leading information will be coming back to impact you in the near future and the quality of service your company provides. This can lead to an indent in your personal reputation and impact on your mental wellbeing.

‘Fake it ‘til you make it!’ They said.

But what happens if you don’t make it because you faked it?

In sales, the term ‘people buy from people’ is one of the most common phrases used. We all know what it feels like to have purchased an item on captivating words and bedazzling demo pictures. You then receive an item that falls extremely short of our expectations and leaves lingering feelings of deceit and betrayal, you feel duped. 

It is believed, that through measuring emotions with SPANE (Scale of positive and negative experience), Authenticity vibrated at a frequency 4 times greater than love. Even if you question the accuracy of this model, I would ask you to question yourself, would you deny your own feelings and experience?

The truth is when you project a frequency you aren’t vibrating at, you lose the power of authenticity and the unique characteristics that make you, you. Whether it’s because of judgement, fear or ego, it can be a great hindrance. This can cause a lot of emotional distress, challenges and problems for you.

Acting from a place of negative thoughts and feelings about yourself, is the most common reason why anyone would ‘act out’ this false confidence. The truth is, we have all done it at least once in our lives. Who knows, it may have helped you at that point. However, as we move forward and those feelings of ‘imposter syndrome’ creep in, we start to feel ourselves shrinking in amongst our colleagues and peers. It may be time to unpick these beliefs and negative feelings. It may be time to transform them so we are able to truly project ourselves with the authenticity we so love and admire in others. This will allow us to reclaim our power and positively impact our own mental and emotional health and wellbeing. 

The journey of authenticity unlocks freedom and power in oneself.

As a leader, the deeper you connect with your authenticity, the greater you will be able to identify the traits in your team, business associates and clients.

 Empowered Insights will build trust and confidence in your leadership skills which will positively impact you and your team. A team that values honesty and integrity to overcome challenges before they become problems.An environment that embodies a prospering and authentic culture, which which will enhance connection with your clients to create successful long lasting business relationships.

If this is something you would like to explore further in yourself, book a session with Empowered Insights today.

The cost of false power

Manage or lead? Feared or Loved? In the modern workplace, many have moved away from dictatorship or micro-management styles that historically appeared to gain results. However, when performance is low, and the targets aren't met, how can one navigate the pressures of creating an autonomous, empowering environment whilst ensuring the business continues to accomplish its goals and objectives?

As Niccolo Machiavelli wrote in his most notable work, 'It is better to be feared than loved, if one cannot be both.' Some might suggest that the two cannot co-exist and many would argue they are happy with one and not the other, but how will you know what you have created?

Your own unique lens will convince you of power and your subconscious bias will work to reinforce these beliefs, but what happens when the uncomfortable reality of 'False Power' is revealed to you.

False power in this context is when you believe you are perceived in a certain way, only for an event to reveal that this is not the case. This could mean you believe yourself to be a great leader, highly respected with power in the workplace until you find yourself challenged by an idea, corrected or threatened by another's confidence or competence, leaving you feeling the need to assert yourself further or possibly even retreat to awkward silence with an uncomfortable feeling lingering inside making you second guess yourself. False power could mean that although your position is titled 'leader', a lingering issue for an employee has resulted in minimal conversation, radiation of uncomfortable feelings within your environment and the silent protest that inhibits the much-needed communication and vibrant energy that allows for success and productivity. With the effects evidencing through low morale, unmet targets and decline of profits, the long term 'hidden' effects on confidence, self-belief, strengths and abilities are gradually at risk of being replaced by belief systems around failure, powerlessness, and distrust in oneself.

When faced with the harsh reality that all is not quite as it seemed, uncomfortable feelings expanding and our conscious minds no longer up to task - the subconscious takes over and enters our metaphoric filing cabinet to access the 'tools' needed to cope with the impending feelings of defeat. Fight or flight kicks in, the brain bypasses the prefrontal cortex and tells us there is some kind of imminent danger and we draw from the coping strategies that have served us at some point in our lives. Unfortunately, these outdated strategies usually were created in childhood, through a traumatic event or prolonged stress and typically do not serve us anymore, but we are programmed to use them. It is here we have a choice. Succumb to our outdated and potentially damaging strategies or Learn and Grow.

Understanding that until we find the root in our deepest subconscious, bring that into awareness and then practice until we integrate our new learning, we will be captive to our emotions.

When we start to expand our awareness and look in our periphery, we empower ourselves and can lead our business and team to a long-term prosperous future.

It is here that true power can be built on a solid foundation that motivates, inspires and emanates true success.

If you are interested in learning more about the points raised in this mini-blog, contact our EQ Consultants who would love to learn more about you and your business.

Am I emotionally intelligent?

What is emotional intelligence and how do you know if you or others possess it?

According to UK stats, 85-87% of success is accounted for by emotional intelligence and we only use them 10% of the time. During our successes (and our opportunities to learn), if we don’t fully understand emotional intelligence, how do we know what we are and are not accessing within us?

When you're emotionally intelligent, you're able to:

• Build strong relationships

• Communicate effectively

• Resolve conflicts

• Make sound decisions

• Manage stress

All of these skills are essential for creating a great work culture. When employees feel understood and respected, they're more likely to be engaged and productive. They're also more likely to stay with the company long-term.

One of the most important aspects of emotional intelligence is self-awareness. This is the ability to understand your own emotions and how they affect your behavior. When you're self-aware, you can start to manage your emotions in a healthy way.

For example, if you know that you tend to get angry easily, you can start to take steps to calm yourself down when you feel yourself getting triggered. This might involve taking a few deep breaths, going for a walk, or listening to calming music.

Another important aspect of emotional intelligence is empathy. This is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. When you're empathetic, you're able to build stronger relationships and communicate more effectively.

For example, if you're able to empathize with a colleague who's going through a tough time, you're more likely to be supportive and understanding. This can make a big difference in their life and help them to feel more connected to the team.

Emotional intelligence is a skill that can be developed. There are many resources available to help you improve your emotional intelligence, such as books, articles, and online courses.

If you're interested in developing your emotional intelligence, there are a few things you can do:

Pay attention to your emotions

The first step to managing your emotions is to become aware of them. Start by paying attention to how you're feeling throughout the day. What triggers your emotions? How do they affect your behavior?

Talk about your emotions

Once you're aware of your emotions, it's helpful to talk about them with someone you trust. This could be a friend, family member, therapist, or coach. Talking about your emotions can help you to process them and to gain a better understanding of yourself.

Practice empathy

One of the best ways to improve your emotional intelligence is to practice empathy. This means trying to understand and share the feelings of others. You can do this by listening to people's stories, paying attention to their body language, and asking questions.

Take an emotional intelligence course

There are many different emotional intelligence courses available. These courses can teach you the skills you need to improve your emotional intelligence, such as self-awareness, empathy, and communication.

Developing emotional intelligence is a transferable skill that can benefit you both professionally and personally. When you're emotionally intelligent, you're able to build stronger relationships, communicate more effectively, and make sound decisions. You're also more likely to be successful in your career and to have a happier life. To discover more about emotional intelligence and what makes you do the things you do, contact our team of experts here.